Sunday, September 7, 2008

Chronically Disastified

Auditions, art design, camera tests, rewrites- we march towards next weekend- the first weekend of production on my short for this semester! And for the most part, I'm more or less intrigued how I've gone from teaching in my own classroom, to trying to recreate a classroom for my film. I think I may be ready for some new source materials- please send your suggestions.

Since for the most part, September is a wash as far as non-school adventures I'm looking fowared to a few dates in October. Around Columbus Day, I have a free weekend - my goal is to go Disneyland where they redecorate it for Halloween- most notably, the Nightmare Before Christmas -ify the Haunted Mansion. This sounds delightful, and may be my only holiday substitute for John Harvard's Pumpkin Spice Ale... oh how I miss thee.




After the test shoot, I came home to see some asshole had parked in my parking spot, I was livid with thoughts of smashing into their car with mine, leaving a note that would passive aggressively state for the driver to not park in other people's spot, and calling a tow truck, I decided to avoid the entire issue by going directly to the Landmark theater where I knew Vicky, Christina, Barcelona was playing in 45 minutes. There was also a Hot Topic at the mall connected to the theatre, so I could pick up some costume props for my film... I noticed I was 25 years younger than anyone at the theatre, which I'm used to for Woody Allen films... I remember in senior year of high school I dragged Eric to see "Deconstructing Harry" and then a week later, our English teacher, Mr. Brush (Heir Brush for irony, as he was quite bald) brought up the film, but prefaced it as a movie none of us would want to see. Somethings never change. I loved this film- not only the humor, which was dry, circumstantial and overtly witty, I also loved the philosophical stance it took on our ideas of love. Like any great Allen film, there's a sense of over-analysis and crisis with every opinion uttered by the characters. I laughed loudly, and again, was reminded of that feeling I get when I see one of Allen's films. They just seem to bring to a different mind set, an open point-of-view to see the beauty of the world, in a more tongue-in-cheek neurosis than I could do on my own.




Though, I've already encountered people who found the film to be pointless (which it's not, if anything it's dead on at human truth, which often feels pointless) I still stand by it as easily the freshest film Woody Allen has made since... Deconstructing Harry? (I would say Match Point, but after finally seeing Crimes and Misdemenors, I realized he kind of just remade one of the plots of that brilliant film.

Anyway, a new week is upon us, The Mets have actually won in the midst of me writing this post- so they are now back at 2 games up over the Phillies. I have tons to get done this week for classes, but am preferring the idea of checking out some of the food I purchased at Trader Joe's this afternoon.

No matter how many degrees I go for, procrastination is still the key to my success.
Actually, I realize I have little memory of the work I stressed over in the past, so really, this all moot, eventually it won't matter anyway!

That's the spirit.

Monday, September 1, 2008

And I thought I'd have tons of free time

So in my “final” (ha hahahahahaah ha) splurge before I put my frivolous spending habits on lock down for the new semester, I picked up some mindless t.v. shows (How I Met Your Mother) which I was introduced to do and found addicting like… some sort of crack-cocain type of candy… skittles (but not the yellow or green ones). I also finally bought Freaks and Geeks – which I have been meaning to watch for a few years now. Why did I wait so long to watch his show- it’s just about everything I ever wanted in a smart teen drama set in 1980. Those were the days.

I figure this is around the time my fictional older brother, Alex, the metal head was in middle school, but still, it’s nice to see that time period presented in such a perfect little show.

So week one of classes has been a tidal wave of information and tasks. This is a good thing, it feels like the program takes it up to all new notches this semester, making it feel like more than just film school- it’s like film life. So this should be good for me. Lots to work on, lots of writing to get done, and not a lot of time to fall into existential crisis. Hopefully, I can save all those for Christmas Break.

But my transition week falls in the shadow of a very optimistic Democratic National Convention. I found myself actually trying to get home to catch some impressive speeches by Hil-Dog, Michelle Obama, and using dvr and you tube to it’s fullest to catch the ones I missed.

I had Josh come over with his beer to watch Obama’s speech late Thursday night. This not being a place for political blogging, unless I freak out on November 4th –which is possible, I have to say that the wounds of four years ago are gone and I am once again excited and hopeful, and will be for at least the next two months or so. I just feel like it’s so easy to become jaded with our politics and easy to take on a nihilistic attitude to our nation’s future, but I have felt for a long time that Obama (though not clear yet what he’ll bring) represents the greatest opportunity for a positive change for us, that it seems impossible not to be excited. Of course, I thought there were impossibilities in past elections as well, but we’re here, and Al Gore is off being an environmental super hero like Toxie, the Toxic Avenger.

OF course the Republican’s have done a wonderful job of creating a quite a circus around their v.p. (and I think it was pretty sneaky of Palin to call her self a “hockey-mom” – to her dismay I am not duped into voting for her ticket just because she mentioned hockey.

I had a good weekend, but actually feel like it’s time for September. I have to prepare for the lack of fall weather this year- it’s been a constant reminder that cool hoodie wearin’ nights, and pumpkin ale, and going back to school (student-wise and teaching-wise) means we are into Fall. So I am ready to work on my film, my writing, I have a new (old but free!) futon to help make my apartment feel more lively, and plenty of show on the CW to not watch. I miss Veronica Mars, now more than ever.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Give me two weeks and I’ll give you a summer to remember…

There’s a lot of hoopla over 2012…

This is the year that the Mayan calendar ends.

Some say it’s the end of the world.

Of course, it could just be the point those wacky Mayans decided to stop calculating…

Or when the white men gave them enough fancy versions of Syphilis to cease all calendar production…

Still, the possibility of something coming in less than four short years is intriguing. Do you ever sit at your computer screen, after mindlessly clicking through websites, checking your facebook, espn.com/nhl, tsn.com/nhl (just in case something’s cooking) and all those other sites that eat up the monotonous minutes of your day- and just say is this what I’m going to be doing the day the world ends?

I have this picture of Barak Obama hanging on my wall next to my computer. It’s a graphic designed image of him in red/white/blue with the word PROGRESS printed on the bottom.

Progress?

It reminds me of an old Disney World ride known as The Carousel Of Progress – where you sit and ride through an exhibit of the progress of humanity. From radios to HD flat screen televisions – we are so evolutionary!

It’s amazing to look at the world day-to-day as opposed to year-tot-year or decade-to-decade. Day-to-day seems insignificant but those years change life and change it fast. But is there progress?

This summer came with very few blogs on my part. Even though- on the treadmill usually, when I’m full of adrenaline- I’m planning to blog daily. But is this tracing progress or monotony?

Well, it’s not monotony, I certainly have crafted my life to this point to be a constant cloud of wonder- I make big plans and let the pieces fall. Sometimes I’m somewhere completely unexpected, but usually I’m right where I started.

If I don’t make progress and the world ends in 2012… what then? Was it all a waste of time? I don’t think so. It’s all about perspective. It always is.

For the most part, my summer was spent in my class and my two jobs. It was the best scenario for me this summer. Just make money. I even wrote a lot.

I still found time for some adventure.

In July I went to Comic Con in San Diego and was quickly exhausted and disappointed by the extreme stream of commercialism. It was choking me. So I found my solace in the panels, listening to writers, people who are pushing bigger ideas, big stories, thinking about our universe and what it means- even in a pulp medium.

Grant Morrison- one of the most successful comic writers in the industry- and for good reason became the focus of my weekend in San Diego. I kept being drawn to his panels. One after the other- and I left with the realization that here was a rare and brilliant thinker. He just seems to have a different take on who we are, and what our purpose may be. And he has fascinating things to say about it. I think it’s hilarious this man’s day job is writing Superman and Batman comics, because in an other age he would be a philosopher or brilliant poet of the Renaissance. You have to always be on the look out for certain marks in life that remind you are exactly where you are supposed to be at that moment. In every instance, in Morrison’s panels, my mind was open and certain I was where I needed to be. Since, aside from reading some his earlier original works, I’ve thinking of the concepts he discussed- even those with My Chem visionary Gerard Way and guru Deepak Chopra. It’s strange being at a geek fest like Comic con and walking away with something bigger- a better eye- heighten senses – to figure out what’s next. What’s progress? Individually and beyond. Morrison and Chopra touched on 2012… they weren’t thinking end of the world – death to all- super volcanoes- they were talking about a new phase in evolution- something bigger something better for all of us…

So do we live today like the clock is ticking or not?

How often do people experience an event, a death of someone close, something that causes them to believe they have to start living life to the fullest?

That’s what we have to wrestle with. How do we know we’re not? Everyone feels burdened by some sort of grind, some sort of anxiety that they aren’t doing enough. I listen to all my friends; my family and I hear that worry. But should we worry? What if it ends in 2012? Or what if those imperfections of the day-to-day are what we need to experience to get to that year?

The highlight of my summer was my trip back to Long Island- it’s almost a joke how being far from home can make home- a place where so many monotonous nights existed – can be the most brilliant vacation spot on Earth. It’s not the places of course; it’s those people who make me feel at peace. They are those markers that remind me I’m where I’m supposed to be – which is confounded when I remember I’m only visiting now. But times are always changing and who can predict what’s next? You’ve lost control!

I spent two weeks –suspended from my personal responsibilities- allowed to be connected with those people that have become m constants. We always meet new people- but nothing is better then those that you already know, and already know you.

For two weeks I felt like I was ready for what comes next because I didn’t care. I live the entire summer- complete with road trips- close talks with old friends- new experiences with old friends- moments that gripped my heart and moments that made me crazy and exhilaration that was enough to forget where I really lived. I was suspended. There seemed to be endless amounts of time.

But then it was over.

I’ve been back in L.A. for a few days- and I haven’t stopped my ferocious pace. I’m trying to extend that lust for life. But I don’t want to try. That’s the difference. Trying too hard makes it difficult.
And that’s why we can’t start living life to the fullest.

Because what we do and the choices we make day-to-day

That’s who we are.

Every time I fly back- whether it was flying back from visiting another city to New York, or now flying back to the next chapter in California I find myself making the same promises and plans to myself. But these plans always go to the wayside very quickly. As I’m sure they do for so many others.

This isn’t a fault.

This is how life works.

On one of my many adventures of my trip home, I ended up at an aquarium in Brooklyn. I was staring at a tank of fish commenting on what a boring existence these fish have. My friend Michael was quick to point out we’re the same, just on a bigger scale.

It blew my mind.

Look at yourself. What patterns do you see?

Are you really going to change them just because the Mayans ceased their calendar production?

2012

Maybe everything will change.

Maybe nothing.

But something always changes a little.

I personally am going to enjoy seeing what does and what doesn’t.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Breakdowns

not in songs.


chapter one - limitations


sometimes i don't know 'em.


class + multiple jobs + plus the normal stress = exhaustion (physically and emotionally)

when will I learn?


first day off in nearly a month is thursday - just get me to thursday- then I can see Wall E.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Classics

The rundown...

One week left of class - which means - edit my film - but first learn how to use my editing program on my computer - write a few papers - read a whole lot- and work my jobs every day and night - This is the big week of busy here, but come July 2nd - I will be on a real summer vacation - except for work- but no school until late August.

I had more visitors this weekend (Amy, Alan and the cat) - and even though I was working most of the time I was able to sing 9 songs at karaoke (Piano Man by Billy Joel and Die, Die, My Darling -Metallica version - just so you understand the scope of my set) and my solo trip to see Death Cab for Cutie became a group outing- as we miraculously came across three available tickets! Great show- it find it rare to see bands I've loved for a long time for a first time- most of my favorites I've seen over and over- but this was fresh and exhilirating - ah!

Also, you may be happy to hear, that the cat killed a cockroach. I'll find out this week if I will be able to move out earlier then my lease says- it'd be nice to have roommates, but not these monsters!

This weekend marked the 10th anniversary of me graduating high school... I had big plans to send out a mass text marking the occasion to those I graduated with, but I was way busy... A grand idea in my head, and there it will stay. Seriously, I had come up with so many blog entries disecting my memories and feelings of being 10 years removed, but (1) Didn't have the time to give it the effort it needed and (2) I'm trying to avoid falling into that chamber of nostalgia... Though, lately, as I sit in class, during screenings, I think about how me of 10 years ago would feel, being at a film grad school like this... but then I wish it was 10 years ago... not for any particular reason, I just like the open range of possibility that 18 sang. Which is strange, since I'm pretty much at a similar point now, but it just feels like there's less margin for error...

Monday, June 16, 2008

We Work Hard, But We Play Hard Too

Astonishing!


I went from a summer class and a part time job to a few part time jobs and a summer class...

I'm not even going to mention where my jobs are, because they are too reminiscant of yesterday, rather then any forward momentum...

And that worries me, right? I mean - what if I messed up my whole "potential" career by not slaving in the business this summer? But at least I'm making some small change, and at least I will keep myself busy-

Let's face it - the dream of having time to write sounds good in theory- but writing comes in waves - and idle time inbetween those waves can be disastorous...

So I will be keeping myself busy for the next 6 to 7 weeks.

I plan to continue writing- so I can feel some sort of forward momentum.


-------

I had a few more visitors last weekend - all the way from the great state of New Jersey~ They seemed to have fun, as I certainly did having them visit and take me to San Diego, to watch the Mets lose. Luckily, San Diego was filled with disgruntled Mets fans.


I saw Hulk this week- kind of liked it - I'm beginning to notice a trend in films I like - artsy or character driven pieces and comic book movies. That's about it!


Speaking of which- I have a personal rule with my Netflix (2 at a time plan, if I go more than a month without watching a film, I send it back. That's too much shelf time! The Savages was doomed to be sent back, but I decided to stay up and watch it= good thing, I really enjoyed it...


Last note,


You can't go back - though I feel at times that the best scenario. But it's a trick of the mind. I know this, this is my curse. It always looks best to go back. But it's gone, dude.

All week I've been missing my old path- with sincere thoughts of going back to it after I've done this thing for a little while. I know it's a trick of the mind - right?


Actually, I think after the L.A. experiment ends - I'll go north east and start a band with Phil in New Hampshire.


Who knows?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

2008 REDWINGS

Look, this finals was pretty exciting.... game 5 was top notch... who knew the pens could tie it up with 30 or secs remaining? and then win in it 3rd ot! Even game 6... that ending was intense... i screamed at the end... thinking the pens tied it up... my friend texted me from across the complex to ask if that was me who was screaming. it was.


congrats to the wings and mr. osgood sogood.


today i picked up the new h20 album... why? nostalgia? i bought there last new album for the same reasons, but that was in 2001... i think they are trapped in the same time period that i am, so it works


i finished a rough draft of a long project, so i'm excited about that.

today, i spent nearly 4 hours at the dmv.... i now officially have california plates.... and my liscense is on its way in the mail... crazy.