Saturday, May 30, 2009

Because there's a 100 other things I should be spending my time on...

The Facebook "how well do you know me quiz" will surely destroy more friendships then help. Remember when MYSPACE introduced the top 8 and we were forced to narrow down all our friends to the 8 we could display for the world to see. I know I learned a lot about who I know business caring about anymore. Needles to say, I too was swept in the narcissistic styling's of creating a quiz about me. And I didn't make it easy- I purposely put answers that may have been right at one point, but if the person really thought it through, should realize that these were about here and now. I'm a complicated person. Deal with it. The following is the quiz with explanations to the answers. So, if you got a 50% you probably should have received more points for thinking - and coming up with logical choices- but again, I'm complicated.

1) Which of the following institutes of higher learning have I attended?
a) Ithaca College
b) Hofstra University
c) SUNY Stony Brook
d) University of Southern California
e) WTF all of the above?!

The easiest one- even though I rarely talk about my first school, Ithaca, the fact it's the only question with an E choice should have been a give away.

2) Which song have I never sang at Karaoke?
a) How Soon is Now?
b) Layla
c) A Whole New World
d) Santa Baby

This was an unfair question. The point was to see if anyone would believe that I would sing "A Whole New World" and "Santa Baby" which I did in duets. (Please note I spent most of Christmas day practicing for "Santa Baby" on Xmas night- I have sang "Layla" by Derek and the Dominos, but to be fair, I should have put another more random song as the correct answer besides The Smith's "How Soon is Now"- I've never sang it, but there's no real reason why I haven't. I should have used a Creed song, or a DMB song, so basically if you picked a or b you're cool with me.

3) Where did I work for half a shift, and quit after my first lunch break?
a) Borders Books
b) Blockbuster Video
c) Old Navy
d) Smithtown High School East

Come on, Old Navy! They put those stupid walkie talkie ear pieces on me and watched me from above, telling me to go up to customers and ask them what size they were looking for- it sucked. So I went to get lunch at Boston Market, had a fabulous meal, and decided to quit when I went back.

4) I was once in the greatest two piece band of all time- what was it called?
a) Cloud 8
b) The Screwbeagles
c) Out, Out, Brief Candle!
d) Visor

Again, this is one of those it depends when we hung out kind of questions. But really, The Screwbeagles, my faux Ska band from high school was a three piece- Cloud 8 was just the name of a band I never formed- Out,Out, was the name of Michael Behr and my acacore- an acapella hard core band (sans the Brief Candle) leaving the obvious choice Visor- in which me and Michael Cassidy actually wrote 3 songs, and performed live in front of 4 people.

5) Who is my favorite French New Wave actress?
a) Zoey Deschanelle
b) Anna Karina
c) Madame Bovary
d) Emily Blunt
If you didn't get this one, then you are just lazy. Only one of the choices was a French New Wave actress, and she was PERFECTION, ugh especially in black and white - those eyes, those lips, that face, too bad she's French and no longer looks like she did in the early 60's. And it's too bad I'm not Godard, shooting her. (with a camera not a gun) Also a quick google on any of the others should show you that Madame Bovary is the name of a French novel, Zoey Deschanelle, though beautiful and talented, is a modern actress engaged to the dude from Death Cab... and Emily Blunt is British.


6) Who is my current favorite hockey player?
a) Jonathan Tavares
b) Sean Avery
c) Henrick Zetteberg
d) Felix "the cat" Potvin
Yes, hopefully Tavares will be my favorite player come draft day this June... But it's been Henrick Zetterberg all year, I got a hat with his number and a t-shirt with his name- (He's on the Redwings and has the best crafted playoff beard out there) He's also an amazing offensive and defensive player. I want to be him when I grow up. Felix Potvin was my first non Islander favorite player back in the day, I had a Leaf's jersey with his name on it! And Sean Avery is the most hated player in hockey, though he's so good at being so deplorable it's hard to not love him as the villain, and the fact that he's a Ranger makes it even more convenient to hate... and he was on 30 Rock briefly... so in a complex way he is my favorite, because everyone needs to hate someone... I told you, I'm complicated.

7) If I ever get married, what has to be the date of my wedding?
a) July 3rd
b) December 26th
c) April 1st
d) February 29th
My cousin Dave had his wedding on my birthday a few years ago. I vowed revenge. His birthday is July 3rd so it will be my wedding day if that is to ever happen. Though I fear it'll end up being some kind of impulsive move and end 42 hours later. Also, it's awkward on first dates when you tell the girl that if this ends in marriage, it has to be on July 3rd.

8) What was I watching that once caused me to fall off my bed from laughing?
a) The Simpsons - in 1998
b) Conan O'brien when Conan kissed Rebecca Romain
c) Masterpiece Theatre - 2005
d) The final episode of Dawson's Creek
Most people got this one- probably because Conan is on late, so I would most likely be in bed watching, but yes, that episode where he snuck a kiss from RR Stamos and went INSANE - made me cry from laughter, and spasm enough to fall out of my bed... oh and guess who's going to a taping of the tonight show in JULY?!!!?!!? THAT's RIGHT-ME!

9) If I had a black cat with white paws, what would I name it?
a) Michael Cassidy
b) Ms. Kitty Fantastico
c) Fredricka Michaels the IVth
d) Puck
I feel bad for those who put Ms. Kitty Fantastico, especially if you caught the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference- but I've made it clear for a while now that I want a black cat with white paws named Puck and any kind of cat with a jeweled collar named Freddy Mercury. Good thing I'm a transient who will never settle down anywhere long enough to acquire a cat or two. Also, just a tidbit, many years ago, my sister and I realized our cat, Callie (a Calico cat, ugh how unoriginal) was really named Fredricka Michaels the III. Just so you know.

10) Which literary character causes me the most anguish in my life?
a) Holden Caulfield
b) Lady Brett Ashley
c) Noboru Wataya
d) Jordan Bake
Probably the hardest question, unless you knew me when I first read The Sun ALso Rises, and realized that I would continually find myself in the role of Jake Barnes dealing with Lady Ashley- there are many literary women who could fill this role of frustration, but she was the first. (One could argue Jordan Baker is of the same breed as Lady Brett, but she's worthless in the end.) Again, a little research, and you could of had this one too.


So, there you have it. Now back to going under the covers, where the fact that my closet friends in the world barely know anything about me won't hurt me anymore. It's 4:30 in the afternoon.